[music throughout] Narrator: Black Hole 101: How To Be Safe Around A Black Hole.
First of all, the good news is that as long as you stay far away,
black holes aren’t all that bad. However, as you get closer, you need to keep [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Not Safe” indicating a very small area around the black hole; “Safe” filling most of the surrounding space]
a few things in mind. The radiation around the black hole can be extremely deadly,
the chances of escape get slimmer the closer you get, and, if you get close enough, [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Safe” indicating paths away from the black hole; “No” indicating paths toward the black hole]
you now have to worry about being stretched into a giant noodle and time getting really weird.
So, unless you have great radiation shields, a faster-than-light spaceship,
or you’re completely indestructible, you should probably just stay away.
Thanks for watching, and please…stay safe out there. [music ends]
[silence]